You know, if Harper doesn't show, Tracy Might:

So, I hear scuttlebutt that Stephen Harper might skip out on the press gallery dinner. If he doesn't want to give a speech, maybe they could invite the leader of Canada's other conservative party, Tracy Parsons. She's witty and she'd be the only female leader there, unless they wanted to give Connie Fogal a ring. So, how about it press gallery, Harper wants to punish you, you embarass him.

Just a suggestion.