Man, I'll be glad when the Oilers win the Stanley Cup so that Calgarians can stop hating Edmonton for their Hockey team:

And start hating us for the River City Shakespeare Festival, The Fringe Festival, The Street Performer's Festival, and the Inbetween Festivals Festival. Okay, that last one wasn't real. But we did pioneer the rigged election, bringing the Capital to Edmonton, by allowing parts of the city to be encompassed by six ridings, while Calgary was fully contained in a single riding. However, as the 2004 city elections proved, where Edmonton originates, Calgary innovates, and gives us the biggest, best damned election fraud Alberta has ever seen!

But honestly, last night, I was guarding an installation in Sir Wilfred Laurier Park, part of an uninterupted network of usable River Valley city parks that are many times larger than Central Park in New York City, and I had been toying in the back of my mind where would be the best place to take Dylan's wallet full of Ralph Bucks and other assorted Calgary graft.

"Graft is defined as a good thing that you're not in on."

-Bob Edwards, Calgary Eye Opener

So first I had to think about location. Do I dare pick one of our fine Whyte Avenue eateries, knowing full well that if the Edmonton Oilers so much as glance in the direction of the Stanley Cup it will be burned to the ground?

"Why is Calgary like a training bra? Lots of support. No Cups"

-Can't remember who.

And then I thought, If Dylan's subconcious deludes him into thinking that we're going in the General Direction of Tony Roma's... As an aside, they do good ribs, but you could suck money out of the Canadian, and Edmonton, economy more efficiently by going to Tim Hortons, At Tony Roma's I'd be obliged to leave a tip.... Then I'd better pick somewhere near TR's. (As Hallsy puts it... man that's one creepy sportscaster.) But There's a Tony Romas in West Edmonton Mall, which would entirely defeat the purpose of the lesson to be taught, near Tom Goodchild's Moose Factory on Calgary Trail, who I wouldn't give a plug nickel too, the weasel, or at Bonnie Doon mall, but it is technically on Whyte Avenue.

However, I know of a great little cafe on Whyte Avenue. My Edmonton Readers will be familair with Dadeo's as will anyone whose ever had a hankering for sweet potato fries. Mmm. Unhealthy...

But that's not sufficiently expensive for the man from Moneyville.

Screw it. We're going to Hy's steakhouse. If it's good enough for Ottowa Tories. It's good enough for Edmonton Tories. Oh, and gracious host that I am, I'll show Dylan the legislature building. I'm sure that King Ralph won't mind. It's not like he ever uses it.